According to WordPress, the tag that people most often click on to reach Wheat, Not Oats, Dear–the tag that calls out to the most people, the tag with the most compelling siren song, the tag that sings, it would seem–is:
I hate Lolcats
When something like this exists in the world, who among us can be surprised?
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On Friday, November [...]
This weekend, I learned that the oldest individual tree in the world is a 4,841 year-old Great Basin Bristlecone Pine in California called “Methusaleh”, after the very old personage in The Bible of the same name. Its precise location is a secret.
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GREAT BASIN BRISTLECONE PINE
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THE WORST METHUSELAH JOKE I HAVE EVER SEEN
YOU TRYING DOING A GOOGLE [...]
Remember that one time, when I said that I’d post on Wednesday or Thursday of last week, and then–sure as the sun will rise–I never, ever did? I just–I–you know, let’s just look t’other way on this one, and act like it never happened.
I would have been no good to you, anyways. Imagine, if you [...]
My mother and I were in a Kroger’s grocery store last Thurday morning, buying goods against the arrival of many, many family members coming into town for
My Brother’s Wedding
As we paused in the meat section, I noticed a man in a long, white butcher’s coat, broad of shoulder and tall of leg–he was the Lumberjack [...]
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Nooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo
Nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
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Let me tell you what misery is. Misery is watching the Colts and Chargers in overtime on a television at Diversey Bowl, because you are there for your friend’s birthday party, and you are wearing–for the love of the Archangel Gabriel–you are wearing your Joseph Addai jersey; and as you watch, your heart making [...]
On Christmas Eve, we turned on “A Christmas Story” in the kitchen, as pecans were being chopped and sugar was being sprinkled and dumplings were being rolled and dreams were being baked and et cetera. It had reached the point in the movie where Ralphie had finally gotten his BB gun, and “all hell” hovered [...]
Here I am!
It’s been a blurry two weeks-ish. Blurry, busy, brash, be-dwizzled, ballyhooed, burned, beautiful, barnstorming, bacon [kidding], blue [good blue and bad blue]. [After I typed that, I wondered about the difference between "good blue" and "bad blue". I looked it up for you. Here:]
GOOD BLUE
BAD BLUE
There you have it!
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Anyway, to reiterate: here I am. More specifically, [...]
“Plural-y”? I dunno.
Business:
1. Get you to The Word Shop Blog: The blog featuring the work of the high school students whom Lara and I have begun to teach The Poetry. The blog so happening that it will doubtless force me to stop utilizing the word “happening” on anything approaching a regular basis.
2. My friend Fischer sent me [...]
Saturday afternoon, in the grocery store, I observed a human being more hapless than myself. Generally, it is a given that–especially in a grocery store–I am the most hapless individual within a five mile radius. I fall apart in grocery stores. The best laid plans vanish into nothingness.
PRE-GROCERY STORE=PLANS
INSIDE ACTUAL GROCERY STORE=ø
ME: How do you spell “coffee”?
The [...]
I just had the opportunity to sit–for moderate chunks of time–in two very different waiting rooms, two days in a row. On Friday afternoon, the waiting room was at my doctor’s office–oh, doctor’s office waiting rooms, you wondrous petri dishes o’ humanity! The sick, the well, the anxiety-ridden, the serene, the people sponging blood off their eyeballs [J/K!] At [...]
