Entries Tagged as ‘Beginning Brand New Things’

November 24, 2009

Delight of My Heart

According to WordPress, the tag that people most often click on to reach Wheat, Not Oats, Dear–the tag that calls out to the most people, the tag with the most compelling siren song, the tag that sings, it would seem–is:
I hate Lolcats

When something like this exists in the world, who among us can be surprised?
***
On Friday, November [...]

November 16, 2009

Wa-Wa

This weekend, I learned that the oldest individual tree in the world is a 4,841 year-old Great Basin Bristlecone Pine in California called “Methusaleh”, after the very old personage in The Bible of the same name. Its precise location is a secret.
***

GREAT BASIN BRISTLECONE PINE
***

THE WORST METHUSELAH JOKE I HAVE EVER SEEN
YOU TRYING DOING A GOOGLE [...]

August 10, 2009

Remember That One Time?

Remember that one time, when I said that I’d post on Wednesday or Thursday of last week, and then–sure as the sun will rise–I never, ever did? I just–I–you know, let’s just look t’other way on this one, and act like it never happened. 
I would have been no good to you, anyways. Imagine, if you [...]

June 22, 2009

Weddingest

My mother and I were in a Kroger’s grocery store last Thurday morning, buying goods against the arrival of many, many family members coming into town for 
My Brother’s Wedding
As we paused in the meat section, I noticed a man in a long, white butcher’s coat, broad of shoulder and tall of leg–he was the Lumberjack [...]

January 5, 2009

No More Disneyworld

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Nooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo                       oooooooooooooooooo
 Nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
***
Let me tell you what misery is. Misery is watching the Colts and Chargers in overtime on a television at Diversey Bowl, because you are there for your friend’s birthday party, and you are wearing–for the love of the Archangel Gabriel–you are wearing your Joseph Addai jersey; and as you watch,  your heart making [...]

December 30, 2008

Christmas, Or: I Received A Paper Cutter LA LA LA

On Christmas Eve, we turned on “A Christmas Story” in the kitchen, as pecans were being chopped and sugar was being sprinkled and dumplings were being rolled and dreams were being baked and et cetera. It had reached the point in the movie where Ralphie had finally gotten his BB gun, and “all hell” hovered [...]

November 17, 2008

I’m Am Here

Here I am!
It’s been a blurry two weeks-ish. Blurry, busy, brash, be-dwizzled, ballyhooed, burned, beautiful, barnstorming, bacon [kidding], blue [good blue and bad blue]. [After I typed that, I wondered about the difference between "good blue" and "bad blue". I looked it up for you. Here:]
GOOD BLUE

BAD BLUE

 
There you have it!
***
Anyway, to reiterate: here I am. More specifically, [...]

October 21, 2008

Pensive, penitential, plural-y

“Plural-y”? I dunno.
Business:
1. Get you to The Word Shop Blog:  The blog featuring the work of the high school students whom Lara and I have begun to teach The Poetry. The blog so happening that it will doubtless force me to stop utilizing the word “happening” on anything approaching a regular basis.
2. My friend Fischer sent me [...]

October 14, 2008

On The Wane, or: Yay!

Saturday afternoon, in the grocery store, I observed a human being more hapless than myself. Generally, it is a given that–especially in a grocery store–I am the most hapless individual within a five mile radius. I fall apart in grocery stores. The best laid plans vanish into nothingness.
PRE-GROCERY STORE=PLANS
INSIDE ACTUAL GROCERY STORE=ø
ME: How do you spell “coffee”?
The [...]

September 23, 2008

I’m Waiting, I’m Waiting

I just had the opportunity to sit–for moderate chunks of time–in two very different waiting rooms, two days in a row. On Friday afternoon, the waiting room was at my doctor’s office–oh, doctor’s office waiting rooms,  you wondrous petri dishes o’ humanity! The sick, the well, the anxiety-ridden, the serene, the people sponging blood off their eyeballs [J/K!] At [...]